Wednesday 26 December 2007

Gedempol

Staring at the PC aimlessly and pretending that you're doing the crummy Reinsurance Bordereaux - that's my expertise. Berlakon jekk lebeyy..
I can't seem to focus anymore. The usual - getting bored of my job.

Anyhoo, here are a few tips from Shosh on how to stack on the pounds. Call me if the arrow on the weighing scale doesn't fidget back and forth, or the the numbers on the digital scale doesn't appear as 888 once you step on it. Success rate: 98.76%.

Cemana nak gemuk dalam sekelip mata?

1. Makan la, mengong.
2. Makan sume lelemak yang ada atas dunia.
3. Makan lepas tu terus baring and tutup mata. Jangan bergerak seinci pon. It helps u to preserve the fats and not burn.
4. Makan 80 kali sehari, binge, binge, and eat enormous portions of food. Kalau kat chillis tu, kira taik idung je bagi kau.
5. Jangan ikut tangga. Ikut lift. Ikut escalator. Kalau boleh parking dalam shopping complex. Teruskan. Jangan hesitate kalau org kata kau lahanat pemalas.
6. Minum air 8 baldi. And bukan air masak/suam. Air bergula is your best option. Sampai semut pun boleh anti kau coz kau dah stock on sugar.
7. Make sure selagi tak meletup butang jeans kau, jangan berenti makan.
8. "nak thiikeeettt" is not an option. Coz kau tak focus.
9. Tidak membuat aktiviti lasak. Eventho menari di club, lemak yang terbakar akan di replace dengan kalori yang berkati2 hasil minuman alco. Tapi kau jgn buat. Ni aku, Shosh.
10. Main. Main sama efek seperti di pam. Bukan main guli, jgn salah paham.
11. Kalau makan roti sardin, make sure sorok untuk diri sendiri. Jangan share.

Haaa...itu la tips daripada Shosh. cuba la, tengok amacam.

Thursday 13 December 2007

I Tagged Myself

1. Do you hate your last boyfriend?
- Just bitter.

2. Have you ever made a boyfriend mad?
- It's always the other way around.

3. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
- Alepap

4. Who was the last person to text you?
- Sumayyah

5. Who was on your mind most today?
- That PWC Auditor. Damn he's hawt!!

6. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
- I'm still bitter. Can't decide.

7. Have you dated people who were not good for you?
- Hell yeah!! I'll tell u about it!!

8. How will you spend your next B-Day?
- Copying Azah - Married.

9. Are you missing someone?
- Nope.

10. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
- Depends. If he / she is worth my time.

11. Would you believe your ex if they said they still loved you?
- *snort*

12. What's your favorite color?
- A cross between lilac & pink.

13. Would you date your best friend?
- Who? Shosh??????

14. Who was your favourite teacher in high school?
- Mr. Lau - "kotttenjen"

15. Have you ever had a panic attack?
- Allah... selalu.

16. How old are your siblings?
- 14

17. What do you want most right now?
- Another 90.67% of my money back.

18. What are you doing tonight?
- Juicing.

19. Are you happy at the moment?
- Yupp!! My TKC besties rock my world!!

20. Do you have a wood floor or carpet in your bedroom?
- Yes. Parquet to be precise.

21. Do you have over 100 CDs?
- Nope. Just 100 Plus.

22. What are you wearing right now?
- Only pervs ask this Q.

23. Is your phone right beside you?
- My God! How'd ya know??

24. Are you cold?
- No, just annoyed with your shtooopid questions.

25. Recently done anything you regret?
- Recent ah... ? Not so recent laa... Lending big chunk of moolah to someone.

26. Ever trip over your own feet?
- Yes... I am ze clumsy.

27. Do you wish someone would call you?
- mmmm...

28. Can you do push ups?
- Rephrase: Do I have a push up? Nope. UNNECESSARY.

29. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
- My anklet.

30. Favorite hobby?
- Now - basketball.

31. What one trait do you hate about yourself?
- LEMBAP.

32. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
- 1) nak tido... 2) Bordereaux tak siap lagik... 3) Mati laa esok!

33. Name 3 things you did yesterday?
- 1) Pooped 2) Peed 3) Burped

34. Current hate?
- Cocky-ness

35. How did you bring in the New Year?
- New Year snuck in thru the back door. Haha. Kick me.

36. Where would you like to go?
- Never Never Land

37. Do you prefer "sensitive boys" or "tough guys"?
- Smart guys. Sorry, I didn't like the choices.

38. Do you have a best friend?
- Yeap. Cik Tosh.

39. What do you want to be when you grow up?
- A garbage truck driver.

40. Who was the last person u hugged?
- Lennie

41. Have you ever had your heart broken?
- *snort*

42. Do you like your life?
- Learning to embrace it.

43. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
- Hahahahahahahaaaa... Beb... diorang SIKIT pon tak kebulor dgn bf-bf aku wehh... SIKIT pon tak!

44. How long have you had friendster?
- since forever

45. Have you ever cheated on someone?
- Nope. Too loyal.

46. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
- Nope.

47. Has anyone close to you ever passed away?
- Nope.

48. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
- Hmmmph...

49. Do you believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater"?
- Hmmm... how about "If he can cheat WITH you, what are the odds that he can't cheat ON you??"

50. Do you ever wish you were famous?
- No thanks.

Monday 10 December 2007

If You're Happy...



If you're happy and you know it, pick your nose! (dig dig)
If you're happy and you know it, pick your nose! (dig dig)
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it, pick your nose! (dig dig)

If you're happy and you know it, scratch your butt! (scratch scratch)
If you're happy and you know it, scratch your butt! (scratch scratch)
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it, scratch your butt! (scratch scratch)

If you're happy and you know it, shout "Screw You!" (SCREW-U!)
If you're happy and you know it, shout "Screw You!" (SCREW-U!)
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it, shout "Screw You!" (SCREW-U!)

If you're happy and you know it, do all three (dig-dig, scratch-scratch, SCREW-U!)
If you're happy and you know it, do all three (dig-dig, scratch-scratch, SCREW-U!)
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it, do all three (dig-dig, scratch-scratch, SCREW-U!)



Stoppin' the Poppin'

Step away from the mirror!

Hands behind your head!!



I think I should start tossing all the mirrors in my house out the window and into the garbage bin. I'm morphing into Chips Ahoy.

*scream*

I'm such a baboon. Can't refrain my itchy fingers from pickin' on these sprouting little oil crops from my sucky, unwanted, shitsfakskee oleaginous farm.

Handcuff me! OK... that's rather kinky.

Saturday 1 December 2007

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Mama...!!!

LoooOoOOOOoooOoooOoove you infinitely to the power of empat belas juta!

Smooches!!

Anona, Anoni, Anonu, Anone, Anono (Part 2)

Anon 1 or Anon 2... It doesn't matter, I think u're the same person.

You're congesting my blog with your occasional unworthy comments.

Please find another blog to do so.

Thanks.

Saturday 24 November 2007

How Would You Like Your Head To Be Whacked, Sir?

Acquaintance: So, where do you work?

Maylin: In CIMB Aviva...

A: Owhh... Aviva?

M: Yeah, it's an insurance company from UK which merged with CIMB Group.

A: Owwhh... So, you agent laa??

M: *about to choke* (pause)
Nope, I'm an Actuarial Executive.

A: Ack..Ektu...(??) *distorted face*

M: Ack-chuay-reeyel. We deal with a lot of numbers, mortality rates, we create the products... But I handle the Reinsurance & Retakaful part... (why am I still explaining????)

A: Macam accounting laaa?

M: *gulp* *inhale*
No... but we do work closely with the Finance people tho'.

A: Ouwh.. *bored face*

M: Would you excuse me...? I need to go to the ladies. I'll be back in a minute - (after I flush my face in the toilet bowl *grunting silently*)

********

M: Sorry to make you wait. XXX belum sampai lagi? Where is she ek?

A: Belum... nanti dia sampai.

M: Ok... So, where do you work?

A: I work in Petronas*.

M: Ohhh... so (you tukang pump minyak kat) which (petrol station ek??) department?


- End -


Petronas* - original company was changed.


********************************

Is "agent" THE ONLY position available in an insurance company?? No offense, not looking down upon agents at all. They make more moolah than I do, seriously. Respect them for that.

I'm just crossed when we people can't think or associate anything else with insurance companies. Or any other company/department for that matter.

OK, understood. Not everyone knows what Actuarial yuppies do. Fine.

But... *sigh*

Can we all try to think slightly beyond the normal and mundane? Like ACCA is NOT the only Professional Accounting exam in this whole wide world. There's also CiMA.

Nevermind. I don't think many will see my point.

As usual, I just wanna let it out.

Cheers everyone.


~The Stressed & Stinky~




Tuesday 20 November 2007

Miss Sixty Sumthin'

Clowning around during Putat's PopRina photoshoot.


Takpe... Tauke tengah busy.

Monday 19 November 2007

Just A Friend; My Foot lah...

"but he says she's just a friend...but he says she's just a friend"
- Curi(ed) + Modified from Too Phat -


Because you're super gullible, you take his word for it.

In the end, you're all battered up inside.

...and the dish ran away with the spoon.

Say a potential boyfriend that you just got to know mentions that he has a girl best friend - take it from me: Run straight for the door. And don't forget to close it on your way out.

Coz "She's just a friend", is a bag full of sheep poop.


Platonic relationships? *rolling eyes*

Safe over sorry.

My two point five cents.


p/s: I guess you won't be rooting for me on this huh, Azah? :p

*Sigh*

Oihh... penat laa nunggu... Bila nye??

Sunday 18 November 2007

My overused word:

R e t a r d

Lantak Melantak @ Pop's

Retards doing what they do best.






Kangkang baeeeek nye...





Terkojut haa...




My Bestie & Me


I just LOVE TKC gatherings. It's a congregation for retards.

Thursday 15 November 2007

Wedding Bells Gone Wrong?

*clearing throat*

*grin*

I should put a disclaimer somewhere here in this blog. Anyhoots, for the meantime, I'll just treat it as another crummy posting.

Disclaimer:
Tuan-tuan, puan-puan, inchik-terkinchitt & saudara-mara sekalian, I shall not be held responsible of any hard feelings caused by any of the contents in this blog. Boleh?

Heheh... Seriously, it's just a blog. Maymay's puny blog. It won't move, shake nor break a soul pon. I'm no Kam Raslan nor Syed Akbar Ali. No where near Dina Zaman pon. :)
Why the hard feelings mate? OK, if it makes you feel better, I'm kicking myself right now.

So, selagi no names are dropped in any of the entries, it remains a general statement. It can be addressed to any Tom, Dick or Salmah. Ochayy brathaa...??

*clucking tongue*

Cheers!


p/s: Yup, that's "puny". Bukan "punya" yang tertinggal 'A'.

p/p/s: For crying out loud! I'm not mocking anyone's England lah.

p/p/p/s: OK... Fine. I AM gampang once in a while.

Wednesday 14 November 2007

Knock! Knock! Part 2

Heheheee... Another retarded joke:

R: Knock! Knock!

J: Who's there?

R: Amos.

J: Amos who...?

R: A-mos-quito!


* * *


R: Knock! Knock!

J: Who's there?

R: Ano.

J: Ano who...?

R: A-no-ther mosquito!


* * *


R: Knock! Knock!

J: Who's there?

R: Stella

J: Stella who...?

R: Stell-a-nother mosquito!!


Rudy and Jayjay!! You retards!! Muaahhhhss...!

Monday 12 November 2007

Wedding Bells, What's That Smell??

Other people have midlife crisis as they approach 50, while I'm having mine as early as now - the ominous quarter life crisis! Wedding bells go off like nobody's business - back-to-back wedding invitations and engagement notices from my peers.

The stats of people I know getting hitched ( hitch means get married - coz there's this particular moron who doesn't know what it means, and he himself is getting hitched next month) are sky-rocketing. The frequency of kenduri kahwins in a month are as aften as the number of times I take a piss in a day.

And whoah... wait... What about the number of babies popping out this time around? Like little bunnies... *slapping forehead* "Say hello to AUNTY Maymay...", as my friend hands over her drooling baby to me. His lopsided head instantly switched my 'gelabah' radar on. Shit, terkehel leher budak nih, mampus aku. Oh, did you notice the kata nama?? Aunty. Aunt. Eeee...

Damn.

These babies are sooo adorable. They even have this "masham" smell, a mix of baby shampoo and milk barf. - which is rather appealing, or addictive. Can't really think of the right word right now.

Naahh...

Don't think I'm up for the mummy challenge as yet.
9 months of waddling like Daisy Duck, several months of puking my guts out into the toilet bowl, weird cravings - "I rase nak makan ice-cream dengan sambal belacan lah" - WHUTT???, sore feet which might be mistaken as elephantitis, extreme crankiness, having my hubby trim you-know-what cause I can't even see the world down under, back aches, butt-aches, occasional allergies due to a twist in the hormones... and the twins - yup the twins. Ballooning twice the size maybe. But that's like a bonus for both mummy & daddy, rite??

Oh, shoot... then there's getting into the labor part. And snip, snip p***y. Pantek lah. Sakit dowh. Hah!! Die lorh!

Women all over say that pregnancy is the best and bittersweet experience a woman could ever go through.

Hmm...
Alright.
Noted.
But not now.

Cause I don't even have a face for the father! How about Sean Connery or Richard Gere? No? Sean Kingston is outta the question.

Anyhoo, cheers to all newly-weds, future brides & grooms and mummies or mummies-to-be! And yeah, daddies and daddies-to-be too. God bless.

Singletons, let's keep ooOoOoon rockin'!!

XoX

Friday 9 November 2007

Knock Knock!

In another life, I wanna be married to Rudy AND Jayjay.

J: Knock! Knock!

R: Who's there..?

J: Hetch!

R: Hetch, Whoo..?

J: Bless you!!


Aaaaarrghh...they twist my non-existant tali pusat every time!

Thursday 8 November 2007

Those 9 Words We Women LOVE...

Thanks Mr./Ms. Anonet.

THE 9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five moreminutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothingusually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just sayyou're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of sayin F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Monday 5 November 2007

Amigo or Aquaintance?

After my bestie for life shed a tear in my car tonight, it hit me in the left boob - haha, kidding. It hit me right in the forehead of what FRIENDS really mean...

Friends give you the spirit to move on, even when you feel like a bag of cow dung.

They laugh with you, and not at you. But if you have Alif as your friend - she's a pro at laughing AT you. Haha. Love you Lipap!

Friends manage to see how pretty you are on the inside - no matter how huge you are, or how horrifying those crummy zits make you look like. In my case; a giant walking Chips Ahoy.

A friend would wake up early in the morning just to accompany you to see Dr. Ting in Bukit Bintang - even when he only had 3 hours of sleep.

A friend rushes to your side and brushes away all the pain just by giving you that one big bear hug.

Friends listen to your rantings, and whinings and ceaseless matha-fuckaa relationship problems without complaining.

Friends stick with you through rough and blotchy times. They stay with you all the way, even when the lights go out at McDonald's and mosquitoes come in droves and start feeding on you.

They smack you in the head with reality checks, and shake some sense out of you.


Quoting Sic Ron, "Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

Friends tell you the truth. Period. They don't lie to your face. Full stop.

Friends are not pretentious. They stay grounded and humbly chuck their ego aside.

Friends go through the hassle to fight for your rights and gain back what's yours.

Friends give more then they take. Aquaintances just take.

A friend tries his/her best not to hurt you. Aquaintances just couldn't care less.

Friends make you feel like family. They love you unconditionally. They appreciate you sincerely. They see the best in you.


And you think you have what it takes to be my friend?

Thursday 1 November 2007

Anona, Anoni, Anonu, Anone, Anono

This entry is specially dedicated to my fellow androgynous Anons!

If I ever get to know who u peeps really are, aku terlangkup kepala korang dengan baldi hijau aku.

Ochayy!

Cheerios.

Wednesday 31 October 2007

Ah Meng dan Muthu

"Saya ada seorang kawan, nama nya Ah Meng.
Dia juga, berkawan namanya Muthu.
Kami berkawan baik, sama sedarjah,
Belajar bersama, MAIN bersama.
Hey Hey hey,
Hey hey hey,
3 sekawan...
Hey Hey hey,
Hey hey hey,
3 sekawan..."


Sedih. Kecil-kecil sudah gay. Apa daaa... ajar budak2 skolah nyanyi lagu bukan2.

Es Em Ess... Messett...Messett

There's this annoying sms tone in the office that goes like this (high-pitch-rasa-dirinya-cute-tone):

"Chweet chwit! Chweet chwit! S.M. eeeesss...!"

So help me God!

Nathik Gowreng Chine dan Meggi Mee Kembang

Nuthing much in the office today. Kala's on MC - so stuff are on hold. Chett. Alasan. I am; pemalas taik - as how Alif likes putting it. Anyhoo, been replying silly emails with the girls. Dari nathik gowreng ke meggi mee kembang to kerepek ubi/pisang mathin.

Oh, btw, Gie cakap guna kuah kurma leftovers as perencah utk buat nathik gowreng chine.

Pastu Em soh tambah ikan mathin. Then Lennie kata pakcik cine kat jalan TAR tu letak cili potong. Then if nak kasik bibir melechett (say it like Jojoi - kasik berangin sikett) bubuh cili api blended. Pastu makan secara laju-laju. Lebih enak dimakan bersama begedil Kak Ton yg sebesar bola bowling padang tu.

Pastu Em kata minum dengan teh o nipis. Ade teh o halus tak? I was just asking, tidak perlu angkat tangan untuk tabuh aku.

OK. Number of 'Pastu's = 3.


*********

Happy means: Laughing histerically at the so-called pic of *Rastam A/L Jabeer Ali - contribution of Lennie, with Shosh's **sila-hayun-tong-gas-kat-kepala-dia remark:

"LENNDIE! AKU NAK BUNUH KAU. EVENTHO KAU DEMAM

MUKA DIA MACAM PEKERJA HANTAR DADIH KAT PASAR TANI ooooowww...dadih...lapar.."

Exactly. What the hell?

I'm itching like a baboon to post the pic of Rastam A/L Jabeer Ali on my blog, but he could be someone's dad or lover! So, I dare not offend anyone. Ahhh... GATTALL nyiyee...!

Ow-chayy lah..

Saya nak ke Pukitt Intahh... Again, say it like Jojoi.


The End.


* Bukan nama sebenar.
** Copyright of Gie Kerinting

Tuesday 30 October 2007

Shooo! Go away!

Ok... It's the bitter bug again!!


*SCREAM*


Jap jeee... Jaaaaaap jek. Nanti ochayy laaa... *grin*

What's Next

mmmhmmm... Haven't blogged for a while. My mind's clogged with lotsa leftovers.

Nanti lah.

*sigh*

Yup... still clogged.


"Well, I never saw it coming...I should've started running...A long, long time ago...And I never thought I'd doubt you, ...I'm better off without you...More than you, more than you know...I'm slowly getting closure...I guess it's really over...I'm finally getting better...And now I'm picking up the pieces...I'm spending all of these years...Putting my heart back together..."


Hahaha.... Whutever! *say it like Tia* Hehehehe...

Monday 29 October 2007

Palatnyeee Kau


Kelly Clarkson - Never Again

I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green
I hope when your in bed with her, you think of me
I would never wish bad things, but i don't wish you well
Could you tell, by the flames that burned your words
I never read your 'letter'
'Cos i knew what you'd say
Give me that sunday school answer
Try and make it all ok
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, seeing my face everywhere
It was you, who just ended like you did
I was the last to know, you knew
Exactly what you would do
And don't say, you simply lost your way
She may believe you but i never will
Never again
If she really knows the truth, she deserves you
A trophy wife, oh how cute
Ignorance is bliss
But when your day comes and he's through with you
And he'll be through with you
You'll die together but alone
You wrote me in a letter
You couldn't say it right to my face
Give me that sunday school answer
Repent yourself away
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, seeing my face everywhere
It was you, who chose to end like you did
I was the last to know you knew
Exactly what you would do
It don't say, you simply lost your way
She may believe you but I NEVER WILL
Never again

Friday 28 September 2007

Face To Face With The BIG CHUNK of Reality

I became sangap after the 15th minute.

Restless.

I texted Shosh every 5 minutes.

*sangap*

*sigh*

At least I know now that I don't wanna be there anymore.

Sorry beb. But things are not like how they used to be.

Thursday 27 September 2007

Spesis Luar Biasa?

The usual saying, which goes more or less like this:

"Lovers come and go, friends stay forever"

or another which sounds something like...

"Boyfriends/Girlfriends are easy to find, but true friends aren't"

OK, gila bullcrap and tak sedap ayat aku tu, but you do get the gist of it kan? I can't remember the exact Shakespearean structure of it, but it goes along that line.

Hmm... I'd have to say that the above two statements are not that valid anymore, when you actually come to think of it.

How about when a *God-send bloke/chick comes along your way, and it actually jeapordizes (did I get the spelling rite???) your friendship with your best buddy?

The normal feedback:

#1. How can you actually let some random guy/girl get in the way of your valuable friendship??

#2. How can you even have the nerve to choose him/her over our friendship??

It's SO TRUE that your friends are the ones who become your confidante in times of a breakdown, the shoulder to cry on when your boyfriend dumps you, go through thick and thin with you and they even voluntarily prepare their ears for the worse - the dreaded recycled stories about you and your current or former beau, which you recite without fail.

But I guess there comes a time, when you reach a point in your life - like this point, now, when you approach your expiry date: quarter of a century; where you just need to choose that God-send bloke/chick. Yup, even if it means giving up your bestfriend (of the same gender that is).

Like babe, at the end of the day, I don't think you would wanna get married to your bestfriend, OR DO YOU??

I bet it bloody hurts. Especially when the friendship and the love relationship gets messy and blows outta proportion. OK. Crap. When your best buddy ends up with the guy/girl you LIKE. LIKE A LOT. LOVE maybe.

Your heart just accelerates downwards and it breaks into itty-bitty pieces.

It's like being hammered in the chest, and you're just waiting for your time to die. I guess you'd rather mampos than go thru that loadsa cow dung. I think I would, well at that particular moment jek kot. Huhuhuu...

I can't imagine being in that situation, but I know one thing for sure - I'd go nuts. Perhaps its true that only time will tell, whether the friendship will ever patch up and the bestfriends would just kiss and make-up (ewww..).

But how would we know if that so-called God-send cherubic other half of yours is worth the sacrifice?

Would we ever know pon? Kalau ade actuarial formula to determine the confidence interval of the worthiness of your beau/gf, I'd be the first to know. But takde laa beb. So, it's another f**king trial and error.

Double whammy crappiness.

What's your say?

Tuesday 25 September 2007

I Know EXACTLY Where I Stand

Yup, I can be too nice, and its taking a toll on my life.

I get squashed like a bug, and people take me for granted. I even noticed that some might take the pleasure to scold me for petty-petty things, when others who do the same stupid petty thing, won't even get to smell the lecture. That's what you call "pilih bulu".

But heck, it's OK. Every homo sapien has their peculiarity and quirks, which we (or maybe just me) have to accomodate to. Fine, I have my annoying oddities which might sometimes drive certain people up the wall. But if some think that being "too nice" is the core reason I'm being left by the men in my life, then all I can do is *snort* *snigger* and *sigh*.

If being nice is not appreciated by some, then these some don't deserve my time.

If being nice annoys the pants off some, then takpe lah.... BYE!

Penat lah. Biarlaa if aku baik sangat pon. Tak kacau you pon. Kacau ke?

Monday 24 September 2007

Little Miss Naik Hangin (Part II)

No, I'm not a bitch for posting such an entry. But, if you can't help it by calling me that, then who am I to stop you. So, by all means, I'm open for cursing. Hahahaha...

I know how it feels when you're insecure with your other half. Nothing he says can be trusted, nor the people around him. Especially his female acquaintances. She can look like a mop wearing a halter top, for all you care, but the idea of having another girl in the picture just makes you sick, even if it's only a bloody teh tarik session.

I've been there. I've done that.

What about what he thinks?

I can bet you a bottom dollar that the thought of "She's such a pain in the ass sometimes" must have crossed his mind.

Tell me if you want that statement to cross his mind loads and loads of time until it doesn't just cross anymore, it's nailed to his head.

Then Love turns to "Menyampah". Menyampah morphs into "I-just-can't-stand-you-anymore-I'm-outta-here!"

You fall into depression. You become bitter. Your life becomes all grey again.


Oh well, if that doesn't bother you that much, keep up the Singa-ness then, and continue to bite every other girl's head off.

If he loves your Singa-ness, coz it so-called portrays your undying love for him, then savour every moment of making other people's life a living hell. Hehehe...


Cheers!!


Muaaackss..!!

Waiters Are ALSO Humans

I've hung out with all sorts of people. Weirdos, clowns, extreme extroverts, ridiculous introverts and people with idiosyncrasies that sometimes can blow you over the roof.

I'm referring to some people who treat waiters or waitresses like their maids. Worse - like some no-good "kasta rendah" servant. This has been going on for ages and ages. I'm sorta backdating things and using it as present value (haha... ignore the financial terms). I cringe at the site of people rudely asking the waiters for their orders. So, OK, you're starving like some Somalian kid, but is it necessary to throw the waiter/waitress that disgusted look and bite his/her head off?

"Mana order saya? Dah lama la saya tunggu!" *jeling*

Like whoahh...! Did it ever occur to you that maybe the house is kinda full at the moment? Or that you're NOT the only one in the darn entire restaurant with a grumpy tummy?

Dude/Dudette, these people are humans too - just so you know. It doesn't kill to act nicely towards them. It doesn't make you any less popular among the crowd if you ask them politely for your order.

Another monkey point of mine; don't think too highly of yourself. It's disgusting. Enuff said.


Peace!

Sunday 23 September 2007

Little Miss Naik Hangin

I just discovered that some girls would take ridiculously extra measures in making sure that other girls don't come near within a gazllion mile of their man.

It actually happened a few days ago. My bestie Shosh called up one of my exes for teh tarik - and nope, I wasn't around. Tak kesah laa.. if she wants to hang out with my exes, that's fine by me, they're her friends too.

To cut the story short, as told by Shosh - that ex of mine didn't pickup, but his enraged girlfriend did. The only mistake Shosh did was to hang up after the gf said "Hello?? Sape nih??!!". I guess smoke puffed out of her nostrils after hearing Shosh say "Hellowwhh..." in that manja tone of hers.

The gf (lets name her Cik Marah), called Shosh profusely. I guess she wanted to give her piece of turbulent mind to Shosh. Shosh being Shosh, dah malas nak angkat. As I'd like to quote her, "Alaaa... mengelabaaa~ laa...".


Half a minute later, Shosh received a message which pretty much went like this:


"Tulonla jgn kaco aku, aku ngan gf aku. susahla camni, penat gado dowh!"


Yikes! The Ex is now throwing a tantrum?? Hmmm... He's one of the most composed person I've ever met - and he's suddenly throwing a fit???


*scratch butt*


Ironically, I received the same message as Shosh did, but we were at different locations (which I read after I got home at 12.30 am). Well, apparently the Ex OR the Cik Marah thought I was using Shosh as a camouflage cum bridge to get to Mr. Ex.
Ish, ish, ish... Silap besar laa lu tuduh gua kan??

So, to clear the air, Shosh courteously called up the Ex to clarify her intention.

A male's voice answered the call, and as Shosh described it, "Macam orang stoned, and pretending to be XXX. Slur giler mamat tuh. I think she's using her guy friend to act as XXX".

Ahah... So, was it really the Ex??? Or was it the enraged-turbulent-puffing nostril Cik Marah trying to put up an act just to scare off Shosh/Maymay yang disangka berada di sebelah Shosh itu?


Who gives a hoot anymore? Here's my two cents:

1. Whoever it was, I'd just like to say that don't just "sembur" freely to me, chucking accusations that I am trying to ruin your relationship.

2. If you're too afraid that your man would stray, you might wanna tone down on that Singa attitude you have.

3. Getting someone to act as your bf over the phone, IS SOooOoOOOOoOo PASSE! That's THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!

4. If you don't like any girl for that matter to have any contact with your man, then by all means, you may call up the girl and TELL HER NICELY: "I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable with you being in touch with my bf." Did you leave your manners in the toilet?


Honestly, I'm tired of all this crap. All this drama. It's an insult to my intelligence. Hah! *snigger*


All apologies.


OUT!!

Wedding Singer

Lennie introduced me this Mat Salleh guy who could actually sing a couple of Malay songs... Jumping jelly beans! I'm gonna make him sing at my wedding!! Ok.. lambat lagik kot... Whhhuuut ever!!

Thursday 20 September 2007

Easily Bruised

It's somewhat pathetic to have a heart that gets easily bruised, like yours truly.

I count the days wondering when this stupid, crummy, mathakrackaa scar would heal.

I'd rather die than wait another 4 years for it to recuperate. Kesian laa hati maytot nih... Asyik jammed up jek. Bandage dah nak reput. Berapa kali balut dah... selotape lagik... siap letak patch summore.

Tuh laa Mama pesan dah... bila sayang orang, jangan sampai jadi bodoh.




Too late.

Sunday 16 September 2007

You're a Fart Face

Just because I'm nice to you doesn't mean that you can squash me like a bug.

Just because I rendered help to you when you're in need doesn't mean that you can take me for granted.

Just because you dropped me a sweet smittening line, doesn't mean that I'll buy your every word.

My trust, you will never earn. My faith in you is washed down the loo.

I'll be bitter as I want to.

I'll be better off without you cramming the space in my head.

I'll be better off without you pricking that needle thru my chest.


Fart face, just scram.

Friday 14 September 2007

Monkey Mess

***

"A wise monkey, never monkies with another monkey's monkey."

***


Again, I bulldozed over my own stand.

So, this monkey here would like to apologize profusely to that other monkey. *wink*


Cheers!!

Oppai no chekku desu

Oppai - it means boobs in Japanese. I picked up the word in Tioman. And chikubi - are nipples. Cute eyy..? Bunyik mcm cartoon character. Chikubi and Friends! Or... The Adventures of Chikubi and Shtotong Goreng Tepung.

I had my oppai checked today. Tadi. Around... 11.30 a.m. We both did. Tosh and me. Initially the plan was to have it checked at the National Breast Cancer Center in Kg Baru - haah. Kg Baru. I was keeping my fingers crossed I didn't bump into Mork. But then again, screw it lah.

Anyhoo, then receptionist kat situ cakap we actually had to make an appointment first.

The queue was long. 11 orang before us. So, we thot, alah, 11 orang. OK laa tu... busuk-busuk sejam. Busuk laaa busuk...

Receptionist (R):
Nak akak book a slot?

Shosh (S):
*Looking at Maylin for an answer, and Maylin who is an obvious ding-bat makes a blur face*
Sorang berapa lame kak?

R:
Sorang dalam 2 jam...

S:
2 jam kak? Lama nya...

***

2 jam??? 2 shitsfaksee hours?? Ape jaDDahnye 2 hours? Dia nak belek ape?? Mana ade celah-celah tersorok yang nak dikelebek!! Takpon chikubi aku punya diameter perlu dihitung.

That makes 22 hours of waiting!! Giler hhhhaappee...

***

S:
Mmm... book je lah a slot for both of us kak... Kitorang balik dulu, then kitorang datang balik.

R:
Eh... mane boleh balik. Kena tunggu. Nanti kitorang try selit-selitkan you in between patients.


OK. Mase nih, aku dah tak pay attention, coz nothing made sense to me, AT ALL.

We left. Sebab receptionist tu... ntah. Dia sebok ngelap hidup dia sepanjang-panjang explain tadi. It bugged me.

We ended up going to Ampang Puteri after hitting 3 other clinics which didn't have the ultrasound service.

Yup. The doctor was a MAN.

Shit. Exposing my oppai to a male stranger was - are you fuckin mad??

Then Shosh coaxed me into having the breast check jugak... "At least you'll know for sure."
Know what?? Whether he rubbed me the right way or not???? *snort*

Fine. Fingers crossed.

***

The doctor was a cutie. Small framed, but still a cutie.

*Sigh*

Haha. Sick.

Anyhoo, my oppais are in good shape, I mean, healthy. Yeayy!! The results were immediate.

Then we headed for Derrick & Team. Got my boobies checked, got my hair done... Hahaha. A great way to start your first day in Ramadhan.


Btw, get your boobs checked dowh. You'll never know until it's too late.
(This is a community message)


XoXoXo

Wednesday 12 September 2007

Ice Box

Huh... Shit. Sakit. Kepundekan. *snort*

...Cause my heart is in the same ol' condition that baby left it...

Wednesday 5 September 2007

.: Cik Melah Legam :.

I finally have my own ride! :)

Yup, I can't believe it either.

Alaa... it's just a black Savvy. Hhhhhonestly, I haven't been behind the wheels for ages! Serious shit, kuda, lammee... Ofith lammee. Haha. Bodo.

Anyhoo, tenchiyu to Shosh and Jojoi for being extremely patient with my rantings and screaming for the first 30 minutes of the drive. And oh, btw, Jojoi and Shosh named it 'Cik Melah', disebut sebagai 'Cik Millaa~' - kasik lenggok shkett.

Tadi dengan beraninya (ditemani Shosh) I drove to Taman Melati to makan sate with the rest of the toxic family. Just so you know, aku nih penakot bawak kete. Lintas jalan pon tak pass. OK, cakap pasal lintas jalan, hari tu I had lunch with Azah kat Maju Junction. Pastu ada adegan kena lintas jalan. I was hesitant. Azah being her, was a total freak. Dia lintas jek, and tinggal aku tergedek-gedek. And pemotor-pemotor came in droves. And me, being me, squealed and froze 3/4 of the road. Leeepas tuh aku terlanggar satu mamat motor nih yang terpaksa slow down sebab kebangangan aku. Harap maklum, aku yang langgar mamat tuh, bukan dia langgar aku. Lalu keluar lah sifat amarah mamat motor tu yang agak horror.

"Hoi! Bangang ke??!! Bangang woiii!!! BANGANG!"

Again I froze. Azah dragged me quickly into Maju Junction, kunun-kunun takde orang kenal aku laa. Malu dowh. Hah. Saiko.


Back to Sate Kajang - budak-budak nih (Lipaps, Chikubieyort, Yaya & Lennie) managed to buli me in sending them to their car yang mcm 2 kangkang biawak komodo jek. They all mashed into Cik Melah and created chaos - what they do best.

And the Sate Kajang wasn't as good as they war-warkan. Indah khabar dari rupe nye.

Shit. Macam ngantuk. Later-later lah.


Soww beautifoww - Out!!

Tuesday 28 August 2007

Tee-Yo-Man

I can't believe that tomorrow nite the 6 (or 7) of us will be heading for Tioman.

*scream*

*pengsan*


Sun block - check!

Two piece - check!

Flirt Radar functioning - CHECK!!


OK... Jalan!!

Sunday 26 August 2007

Peek-a-booh... I SoOOoOo Don't Like You...

I had my hair trimmed today at this recommended salon in Bangsar.

More like, recommended-by-Amym-I-swear-by-the-name-of-my-warden-in-skool-Ms.Vicky that I will never set foot at any Peek-a-booh outlet EVER again.

Peek-a-booh should change to Peek-a-booh-towh.

Sorry... can't help it. But that Raymond guy just ruined my tresses!!!

Amym, I know you hated the outcome of your hair too tadi. If tak, takde nyee kau nak ikat rambut RIGHT AFTER the stylist blowed your hair.


Will stick to Focus in Desa Pandan. They're the best. 'Nuff said.




Grumpy, frumpy and hungry - out!!

Wednesday 22 August 2007

Kelaparan

I. Am. Still. In. The. Office.

Screw you MRTT and GTT Reinsurance Bordereaux.

I'm hungry.

And cranky.

I can eat a whole lembu now.


Ouwh... btw, I loike my lil new work space.
But it doesn't mean that I'm not crossed about the crummy Bordereaux !!

Sunday 19 August 2007

Men Over Monkeys

As for now, I'd choose any monkey over a man.


I can't see any significant difference anyways...





Hey, I did say AS FOR NOW... didn't I ?



*Yes, I know that's an orangutan. Monkeys, orangutans - sedara, sepupu-sepapat.


Her Royal Phlegmness

Today's my 5th sickly day. I thot I was OK yesterday until I threw up the Monterey Chicken I had for lunch, after I got home. Yeah, it was gross. There goes my RM23.80 + 5% tax meal of the day!! Boohoo...

I've never felt like a vegetable my entire life! - OK, apart from when I had the chicken pox.

Well, apparently I wasn't the only one who was sick throughout this week. Mangsa-mangsa fever pada minggu ini:
1. Azah
2. Putat
3. Em
4. Shosh
5. Yaya

Congratulations to those who are recuperating.

Kesian to those who still have the phlegm colony stuck up their throats.


Yuck... here comes another green spit ball...!!


Haaakk.. Ttuii...

Thursday 16 August 2007

Abort Purple Mission

No purple ride.

It'll be metallic ebony... And cute. Well, I think it's cute lah. Some think its hideous. Screw them.

Draattt... I'll need to study the roads. Shitsfakskee.

Wednesday 15 August 2007

F.E.V.E.R.

High temperature.

Got jabbed in the butt.

I chose the left cheek.

Felt like when my sister poked me in the ass with her pensel tekan-tekan.

Now by butt is numb.

OK. TMI!


Maymay - Out!!

Tuesday 14 August 2007

The Strength, The Courage

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;
Loving someone deeply gives you courage."



I'm not sure if I ever had the strength, but I'm bloody confident that I always, undeniably is, gifted with courage.

Monday 13 August 2007

A Place To Stay

Papa's gonna start work in October - here, in KL! Yeayy!

So, I won't have to pay for the rent. La la la ~

.
.
.

Yikes... total revamp!

Thursday 9 August 2007

I Will Survive...!

Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" new lyrics... Hahaha... Seriously, who ever wrote this, must have been duped big time!

*hearty laugh*

Scrub off the bitterness. Hehehehehe...

For the men who can take a good joke! :)


At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French Fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans!

Go on now - go, ! Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive! I will always have good sex,
with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weener standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive! I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

Tetikusnya Ada Virus!

I got into the lift with Hafiz (the IT guy) and his petite gf. Already in the lift was a lady from 12th floor, somewhat happy to see Hafiz;

"Hafiz, saya rasa mouse saya ada virus lah!"

Perplexed and trying his very best not to spew the pent-up crack-up;

"Haih?"
*Manly chortle*
"Mouse betul jekk ada virus kak! Mouse tuh mana ade... Biar benar kak..."

"Tak, betul, bila saya gerak ke kanan, dia tak nak ikot. Dia lari-lari. Penat laaa saya kejar!"

At one point, I thought she was actually talking about a real LIVE mouse.

"Camne yee Hafiz? Boleh tolong tak?"




Kak oiii... Just meddle with the mouse's balls laaa... I mean, ball. Mesti stuck dgn habuk segala...

Thursday 2 August 2007

Did My Copper Hair Cloud Your Judgment?

Had ridiculously late supper, with an old, old friend - En. Ram - bukan nama sebenar happened to be in the neighbourhood.


En. Ram:
Kau pergi Loft ek?

Cik May:
Tak... Tak pernah.

En. Ram:
(Gelak meletup-letup)
Ye ke..?

Cik May:
Ya Allah. Sumpah tak penah... Other clubs in between Cynna and Bar Savanh penah laaa... Along Heritage Row... *grin*

En. Ram:
Kau pegi dengan *toot* and *toot* kan?

Cik May:
Haah... Alaa... sekali tuh jek...

En. Ram:
Diorang minum eh...?

Cik May:
Haah...minum... All of them did, I think...

En. Ram:
Kau tak? (cynical face)

Cik May:
Tak. (straight face)

En. Ram:
(Gelak meletup-letup)
Ye ke..?

Cik May:
Laa... sumpah tak... Tak penah pon.
Then again... I've got nothing to prove to you. Why should I bother??
(Struggling to make him see that underneath the copper head is a good girl who has never in her entire life deliberately taken a sip of alcohol)

En. Ram:
Tak kesah laa... Takpe laa if kau minum pon.
(Senyum kambing)

Cik May:
Aku tak minum laaa...
(Muka stress)

En. Ram:
(Nice pearly whites)

Cik May:
(Stress)

En. Ram:
Kau tau kan Heritage Row tuh pubs... and not clubs?

Cik May:
(perplexed + you think I'm dumb?)
Du'uhh... Tau laaa...

En. Ram:
People go to pubs, mana ade buat menda lain... Menda tuh je laa.

Cik May:
Says who?

En. Ram:
Says - (confidently pointing to his, I'd say, somewhat small physique)

Cik May:
(Crossing eyes)
Weh...banyak lagi laa menda lain boleh buat...

En. Ram:
Like what?? Dance? Pegi club laa...

Cik May:
(Grunts)
Nevermind, again I've got nothing to prove to you. Drop it.

En. Ram:
(senyum kambing)


Dear En. Ram,

You don't have to get all tipsy to have fun in Heritage Row. Or any bistro or pubs for that matter.

I love the company of my mates.
I love the mortally loud music.
And these hips do to.

Am a hollering: I ain't got anything to prove to you. *grin*

I'm happy as can be.

Wednesday 1 August 2007

Am SO in LOVE

Maybe its just the hormones... Heck, I'm not sure anymore.

This mini-mohawk-kiddo here has swept me off my feet.

Yeah, cliche. Who gives a hoot!

*smitten*



"Orang lain marhaban, saya tidoo..."


"Cool tak?"


"Whutt??"


"Ummmm..."


"Maaaaalu laaa...Dah botak.."

Baby Aqil

Gegett kang...



I'm just feeling fuzzy all over.



Anak Syadam is like bloody cute. He's got a mini mohawk... Awww...


God, I swear I'll pinch those cheeks when I see him!!


p/s: Dude! Dia tongkat dagu... Stress nye baby cute nih...

Do You Smell My Purple Ride???

Maylin:
My aunty is selling off her Gen-2, (it's purple, mind you!!) for RM35,000. It's about 3 years. Dia pakai bwk pegi skolah jekk. So how? OK tak?

Alep:
YES! Maylin - for once, aku tergerak nak reply email ko. serious shit murah. u will not get a better deal. That is even cheaper than a kancil. And gen-2 nye rep is good. Plus you can get the history of the car from aperson that you can trust
I am planning to trade my kembara for a used Xtrail jugak. Know of anyone whom might be selling theirs off??

Maylin:
Alaaa... if i say that my moyang is selling off her old beaten up Datsun for 50 sen pon ko suruh aku amik!!!

Anyways, I'm considering laaa... I know, I need my own ride.
Btw, durian runtuh ke kau?? Xtrail...??

Alep:
Xtrail USED la - my friend got it for RM51K - which is cheaper than my new kembara.
Tak la, kalau moyang ko jual crap, aku tak suruh la ko beli as much as I want you to hv yr own ride.
ape pun alternative ko?? Figure out how much you can afford per month la, decide from there.
Jom go hunting for used cars in september? Aug is bad,bad,bad!



Do you smell it yet? Do you? Huh? Huh?

Thursday 26 July 2007

*Slap*

"When someone slaps you, slap them back twice."


- Courtesy of Shareena Shahir -

Cinta itu...

Thanks Gie - for the quotes... Really, thank you. :)

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will


My biggest OUCH:

"Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry."

Wednesday 25 July 2007

Rambut-ku Part 2

Gavina (my ever-so-bubbly colleague) commented on my newly colored hair:

"Your hair tells men to 'Come to me, and let's do it!'"

????????

But the comments came from Gavina. Horny is her middle name. What's there to be surprised about?

Clueless

I've gone outta my mind, thinking about abandoning Actuarial for good. I've been feeling sucky for the past few months.

I'm plunging into depression - yes, again.

I'm disoriented - when am I not?

I forced myself to believe that I LOVE numbers and the complexity of it. I think I just came to realize that I actually don't adore numbers that much.

I've been living a lie (a lie to myself) for God knows how long.

I was born into an Arts family. But I thot "heck, I wanna be different."
I should've followed Papa's footsteps.
I should've given my passion and yet-to-be revealed talent a chance.

It's eating me alive now.

I'm trying to strip away the inhibitions and judgements I had, and still have about following my heart.

Is it ever too late to start off fresh?

Why should I bother asking what the world thinks.

Aiming for the pursuit of happiness - I am.


*patting myself on the back*

Don't Say It

It's me singin' again...

"...I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'Forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore..."


And I keep reminding myself that it's just a phase...

Rite.

Monday 16 July 2007

Rambut-ku

I bulldozed over my stand.

I colored my hair.

I even had it high-lighted.

I'm into 4-inch strappies now.

I'm even considering oversized shades.

Yeah, I know. Shut up.

Monday 9 July 2007

Umbrella

Who wants to be under my umbrella..??

Hehehehe...

Friday 6 July 2007

Laughing Again

If it weren't for my bubbly buddies, I'd be dead by now. I'd die of dehydration. And I guess my eye balls would pop outta my sockets anytime by now.

And, as cliche as it is, laughter is the best medicine, only if you go to the right doctors...hehehe...

Dr.Shosh Kenchang (bkn nama sebenar)
Dr.Yaya - Banana therapy --> We're talking abt real bananas here.. don't get any funny ideas!!
Dr.Alep Bacchaa - Gantang therapy
Dr.Jojoi - Our specialist --> The sexologist.
...and Nurse Lennie... heeheeheee...

5 hours, for 4 days in a row at Suzi's. Orang giler jekk boleh buat camtuh.

Thanks guys. LOve you!!


"Alaaa ibong tosh tuu....Cenyum cikitt.." hahhahahaha...And it takes a crazy doctor to recite that. Yup - it's the chief surgeon; Dr.Shosh.

Monday 2 July 2007

MooOOOoove Bitch!

Ok. Ok... I'm movin'!

I'm movin'!!

Baby steps laaa...

*grin*

Club 21

I guess I've been feeding my head with too many self-help books. Some say they're crappy. Some say, they DO help. I'm going with the latter.


There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. Some stuff from Anthony Robbins.

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.


THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR.
When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk..

FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE.
Spend some time alone.


Aaaa... I can't do #21 too often. Oh, No, No, No... Not this time around...

Splitsville

So I thot my little fairy tale would last a lifetime.

>>> BUZZZZZ !!! <<<<

NOT!

Shit happens.

And I'm moving on.

I'm walking tall. With or without my heels. Heehee...

Wednesday 13 June 2007

Coordinating With The Universe

"What things so ever you desire, when you pray, BELIEVE that you RECEIVE them, and you shall HAVE them."

-The Secrets-

Change 101

I keep reminding myself that u can NEVER change a person. So work around the situation.

Stick that into your head Maymay!!

Hehehe... 3am and I'm still wide awake.

Old Town White Coffee. I shudnt have taken it. Dang.

Friday 1 June 2007

My Celeb Boob Twin... Geez...

Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Jennifer Aniston






You Are Most Like Tyra Banks



Totally smokin' with tons of attitude

OOOOoOOoOOoOOooh... I'm SeXy..!!

You Are 75% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Extremely High

You're very sexy. You just have that certain something that takes over a room.
You know how to attract, entice, and keep whoever you want. You are truly appealing.

Saturday 26 May 2007

Adam Meets Eve Updates

Hear-yee! Hear-yee!

The next Speed Dating Event will be on the 9th of June!!

I'm psyched up already. So, boys and girls, whoever's interested, email Adam Meets Eve at adam.meets.eve@gmail.com and I'll forward u guys the form :) .



Love,
Maymay
Adam Meets Eve Yuppy Bunny (wtf??)

Wednesday 16 May 2007

Adam Bertemu Eve

Lets just say that we kinda suck at planning. Haha.

Lesson learned.

Updates on that later :)


p/s: Hottie? *GRIN*

Friday 11 May 2007

Quarter of a Decade

Yes. Officially today, I am.

Draaattt...!!

Sunday 29 April 2007

Am a Yuppy.

So Azah religiously calls me a yuppy. Because of the following:
1. I go to Starbucks for internet connection.
2. I enrolled myself into Clark Hatch.

Well, Azah honey, for item #1, I wouldn't drag my by-default-tanned-ass to Starbux if I had Streamyx at home, like you do. Soon. I will have crummy Streamyx at home. Wireless, mind you.

For item #2, I'm lembik. I'm wrapped in cellulite. I've got zilch stamina. My metabolic rate is below sea level (#$%^&* ???). ---> Notice the negative vibe I'm projecting? Sick.
Dude, if it can make me feel better, boost my Self Esteem, what the heck? So, OK. You might say that "I'm not loving myself enough" etc. Love who you are! Love what you have! Enuff already! Got the point. It's my money. I'll do what I want with it. So, scram!


Oh well, am a cranky today.

Am a not in good mood.

Am a talking gibberish.

Am a liking this.


.
.
.
.
.
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Still waiting for Alep. Where is she? I need to pee.

Friday 27 April 2007

Hullowhh...!!

I'm gonna make this short and sweet.

Life is a alot happier when u learn to let go, and move on.


Smooches everyone!!

Thursday 29 March 2007

So I've Got Cellulite...and Your Problem is...?


I've managed not to eat garbage after 7.30pm. I survived not eating rice for 1.5 weeks!! Well, except for yesterday coz the nasi kukus was extremely alluring, I mean, tempting. Who calls nasi alluring??
What is it with being slim, thin and hot?? Why can't a guy like a girl who's curvy? What's wrong with curves?
And what is it with long, straight and lustrous hair?? What's wrong with wavy, curly hair?
Aaaaand...what's with the fair skin syndrome? Is there anything wrong with tanned skin??
If Malaysian men would only learn how to tone down a few notches that wish list of their's, I think a lot of girls would drop "stress" as their middle names.
Too much to ask for majority of Malaysian men who look nowhere near like Josh Hartnett.(OK, he's my personal fav. I'm a bit biased) But hey!!! Your mirror broke aaah..? Sudah berapa lama tak tengok cermin laa deyy?
Gosh. Tolong lah.

Breast Gazing???

This article was forwarded to me by a friend of mine - Deelart. I've heard it before, but God knows how true it is. Haha...All I know is that this method won't work for gay men, that's for sure!

I wonder if there's anything for women to stare at that's good for our hearts. Haha. Not the crotch! Oh, NO, NO, NO! (I'd have to ask Alep on this. She likes peha tebal. Whatever that means!)

So, peeps. Perverts get to live longer, and lead a healthy life. While the malu-malu kucing ones get stressed out more often. Sheesh..!!!





Although politically incorrect this titillating study may be very good news for men.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that staring at women’s breasts is good for a man’s health and can add years to his life. The journal reports gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby's findings that รข€˜Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out.

Dr. Weatherby and researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany compared the health of 200 male outpatients. The study required half of the men to look at well endowed females every day. The other half were to refrain from this.

After five years of breast watching the study revealed that bosom-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease.

Dr. Weatherby reports that sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation.

The study indicates that staring at breasts for a few minutes each day cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. Surely there has to be a more politically correct way!

Thursday 8 March 2007

The Man On The Island

"The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his few possessions.

But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "Lord, how could you do this to me!" he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.

"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going badly. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering.

Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground--it just may be a smoke signal that summons The Grace of God."

i especially love this piece; it has been my inspiration for years; just that now that i know what "Grace of God" really means; i see it in a totally different light.

..rather than waiting and sitting around; why can't we go out and create a fire of our own, before our hut get burned?

Sunday 4 March 2007

Don't Eat My Donuts


Here goes... I'm not much of a blogger, but heck, I'm giving it a shot. I've always had so much to bitch about life, so I'm gonna put it in writing this time. Haha.


The name's Maylin. My parents call me Maylin and my only annoying/adorable sister calls me "Kakak" - with that Northern Penang accent. Friends call me Maymay, Maytot, Metot, and just Tots.


My family's in Penang, and I've been here in Ampang since.. forever. So,ok. Not true. Since the past 5 years. And a smart-ass Kurshian thoroughbred 9599, I am.

What else...? I love pigging out! Who doesn't?

I'm gonna stop rambling now. I need my coffee. Pronto.