Friday, 28 September 2007

Face To Face With The BIG CHUNK of Reality

I became sangap after the 15th minute.


I texted Shosh every 5 minutes.



At least I know now that I don't wanna be there anymore.

Sorry beb. But things are not like how they used to be.

Thursday, 27 September 2007

Spesis Luar Biasa?

The usual saying, which goes more or less like this:

"Lovers come and go, friends stay forever"

or another which sounds something like...

"Boyfriends/Girlfriends are easy to find, but true friends aren't"

OK, gila bullcrap and tak sedap ayat aku tu, but you do get the gist of it kan? I can't remember the exact Shakespearean structure of it, but it goes along that line.

Hmm... I'd have to say that the above two statements are not that valid anymore, when you actually come to think of it.

How about when a *God-send bloke/chick comes along your way, and it actually jeapordizes (did I get the spelling rite???) your friendship with your best buddy?

The normal feedback:

#1. How can you actually let some random guy/girl get in the way of your valuable friendship??

#2. How can you even have the nerve to choose him/her over our friendship??

It's SO TRUE that your friends are the ones who become your confidante in times of a breakdown, the shoulder to cry on when your boyfriend dumps you, go through thick and thin with you and they even voluntarily prepare their ears for the worse - the dreaded recycled stories about you and your current or former beau, which you recite without fail.

But I guess there comes a time, when you reach a point in your life - like this point, now, when you approach your expiry date: quarter of a century; where you just need to choose that God-send bloke/chick. Yup, even if it means giving up your bestfriend (of the same gender that is).

Like babe, at the end of the day, I don't think you would wanna get married to your bestfriend, OR DO YOU??

I bet it bloody hurts. Especially when the friendship and the love relationship gets messy and blows outta proportion. OK. Crap. When your best buddy ends up with the guy/girl you LIKE. LIKE A LOT. LOVE maybe.

Your heart just accelerates downwards and it breaks into itty-bitty pieces.

It's like being hammered in the chest, and you're just waiting for your time to die. I guess you'd rather mampos than go thru that loadsa cow dung. I think I would, well at that particular moment jek kot. Huhuhuu...

I can't imagine being in that situation, but I know one thing for sure - I'd go nuts. Perhaps its true that only time will tell, whether the friendship will ever patch up and the bestfriends would just kiss and make-up (ewww..).

But how would we know if that so-called God-send cherubic other half of yours is worth the sacrifice?

Would we ever know pon? Kalau ade actuarial formula to determine the confidence interval of the worthiness of your beau/gf, I'd be the first to know. But takde laa beb. So, it's another f**king trial and error.

Double whammy crappiness.

What's your say?

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

I Know EXACTLY Where I Stand

Yup, I can be too nice, and its taking a toll on my life.

I get squashed like a bug, and people take me for granted. I even noticed that some might take the pleasure to scold me for petty-petty things, when others who do the same stupid petty thing, won't even get to smell the lecture. That's what you call "pilih bulu".

But heck, it's OK. Every homo sapien has their peculiarity and quirks, which we (or maybe just me) have to accomodate to. Fine, I have my annoying oddities which might sometimes drive certain people up the wall. But if some think that being "too nice" is the core reason I'm being left by the men in my life, then all I can do is *snort* *snigger* and *sigh*.

If being nice is not appreciated by some, then these some don't deserve my time.

If being nice annoys the pants off some, then takpe lah.... BYE!

Penat lah. Biarlaa if aku baik sangat pon. Tak kacau you pon. Kacau ke?

Monday, 24 September 2007

Little Miss Naik Hangin (Part II)

No, I'm not a bitch for posting such an entry. But, if you can't help it by calling me that, then who am I to stop you. So, by all means, I'm open for cursing. Hahahaha...

I know how it feels when you're insecure with your other half. Nothing he says can be trusted, nor the people around him. Especially his female acquaintances. She can look like a mop wearing a halter top, for all you care, but the idea of having another girl in the picture just makes you sick, even if it's only a bloody teh tarik session.

I've been there. I've done that.

What about what he thinks?

I can bet you a bottom dollar that the thought of "She's such a pain in the ass sometimes" must have crossed his mind.

Tell me if you want that statement to cross his mind loads and loads of time until it doesn't just cross anymore, it's nailed to his head.

Then Love turns to "Menyampah". Menyampah morphs into "I-just-can't-stand-you-anymore-I'm-outta-here!"

You fall into depression. You become bitter. Your life becomes all grey again.

Oh well, if that doesn't bother you that much, keep up the Singa-ness then, and continue to bite every other girl's head off.

If he loves your Singa-ness, coz it so-called portrays your undying love for him, then savour every moment of making other people's life a living hell. Hehehe...



Waiters Are ALSO Humans

I've hung out with all sorts of people. Weirdos, clowns, extreme extroverts, ridiculous introverts and people with idiosyncrasies that sometimes can blow you over the roof.

I'm referring to some people who treat waiters or waitresses like their maids. Worse - like some no-good "kasta rendah" servant. This has been going on for ages and ages. I'm sorta backdating things and using it as present value (haha... ignore the financial terms). I cringe at the site of people rudely asking the waiters for their orders. So, OK, you're starving like some Somalian kid, but is it necessary to throw the waiter/waitress that disgusted look and bite his/her head off?

"Mana order saya? Dah lama la saya tunggu!" *jeling*

Like whoahh...! Did it ever occur to you that maybe the house is kinda full at the moment? Or that you're NOT the only one in the darn entire restaurant with a grumpy tummy?

Dude/Dudette, these people are humans too - just so you know. It doesn't kill to act nicely towards them. It doesn't make you any less popular among the crowd if you ask them politely for your order.

Another monkey point of mine; don't think too highly of yourself. It's disgusting. Enuff said.


Sunday, 23 September 2007

Little Miss Naik Hangin

I just discovered that some girls would take ridiculously extra measures in making sure that other girls don't come near within a gazllion mile of their man.

It actually happened a few days ago. My bestie Shosh called up one of my exes for teh tarik - and nope, I wasn't around. Tak kesah laa.. if she wants to hang out with my exes, that's fine by me, they're her friends too.

To cut the story short, as told by Shosh - that ex of mine didn't pickup, but his enraged girlfriend did. The only mistake Shosh did was to hang up after the gf said "Hello?? Sape nih??!!". I guess smoke puffed out of her nostrils after hearing Shosh say "Hellowwhh..." in that manja tone of hers.

The gf (lets name her Cik Marah), called Shosh profusely. I guess she wanted to give her piece of turbulent mind to Shosh. Shosh being Shosh, dah malas nak angkat. As I'd like to quote her, "Alaaa... mengelabaaa~ laa...".

Half a minute later, Shosh received a message which pretty much went like this:

"Tulonla jgn kaco aku, aku ngan gf aku. susahla camni, penat gado dowh!"

Yikes! The Ex is now throwing a tantrum?? Hmmm... He's one of the most composed person I've ever met - and he's suddenly throwing a fit???

*scratch butt*

Ironically, I received the same message as Shosh did, but we were at different locations (which I read after I got home at 12.30 am). Well, apparently the Ex OR the Cik Marah thought I was using Shosh as a camouflage cum bridge to get to Mr. Ex.
Ish, ish, ish... Silap besar laa lu tuduh gua kan??

So, to clear the air, Shosh courteously called up the Ex to clarify her intention.

A male's voice answered the call, and as Shosh described it, "Macam orang stoned, and pretending to be XXX. Slur giler mamat tuh. I think she's using her guy friend to act as XXX".

Ahah... So, was it really the Ex??? Or was it the enraged-turbulent-puffing nostril Cik Marah trying to put up an act just to scare off Shosh/Maymay yang disangka berada di sebelah Shosh itu?

Who gives a hoot anymore? Here's my two cents:

1. Whoever it was, I'd just like to say that don't just "sembur" freely to me, chucking accusations that I am trying to ruin your relationship.

2. If you're too afraid that your man would stray, you might wanna tone down on that Singa attitude you have.

3. Getting someone to act as your bf over the phone, IS SOooOoOOOOoOo PASSE! That's THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!

4. If you don't like any girl for that matter to have any contact with your man, then by all means, you may call up the girl and TELL HER NICELY: "I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable with you being in touch with my bf." Did you leave your manners in the toilet?

Honestly, I'm tired of all this crap. All this drama. It's an insult to my intelligence. Hah! *snigger*

All apologies.


Wedding Singer

Lennie introduced me this Mat Salleh guy who could actually sing a couple of Malay songs... Jumping jelly beans! I'm gonna make him sing at my wedding!! Ok.. lambat lagik kot... Whhhuuut ever!!

Thursday, 20 September 2007

Easily Bruised

It's somewhat pathetic to have a heart that gets easily bruised, like yours truly.

I count the days wondering when this stupid, crummy, mathakrackaa scar would heal.

I'd rather die than wait another 4 years for it to recuperate. Kesian laa hati maytot nih... Asyik jammed up jek. Bandage dah nak reput. Berapa kali balut dah... selotape lagik... siap letak patch summore.

Tuh laa Mama pesan dah... bila sayang orang, jangan sampai jadi bodoh.

Too late.

Sunday, 16 September 2007

You're a Fart Face

Just because I'm nice to you doesn't mean that you can squash me like a bug.

Just because I rendered help to you when you're in need doesn't mean that you can take me for granted.

Just because you dropped me a sweet smittening line, doesn't mean that I'll buy your every word.

My trust, you will never earn. My faith in you is washed down the loo.

I'll be bitter as I want to.

I'll be better off without you cramming the space in my head.

I'll be better off without you pricking that needle thru my chest.

Fart face, just scram.

Friday, 14 September 2007

Monkey Mess


"A wise monkey, never monkies with another monkey's monkey."


Again, I bulldozed over my own stand.

So, this monkey here would like to apologize profusely to that other monkey. *wink*


Oppai no chekku desu

Oppai - it means boobs in Japanese. I picked up the word in Tioman. And chikubi - are nipples. Cute eyy..? Bunyik mcm cartoon character. Chikubi and Friends! Or... The Adventures of Chikubi and Shtotong Goreng Tepung.

I had my oppai checked today. Tadi. Around... 11.30 a.m. We both did. Tosh and me. Initially the plan was to have it checked at the National Breast Cancer Center in Kg Baru - haah. Kg Baru. I was keeping my fingers crossed I didn't bump into Mork. But then again, screw it lah.

Anyhoo, then receptionist kat situ cakap we actually had to make an appointment first.

The queue was long. 11 orang before us. So, we thot, alah, 11 orang. OK laa tu... busuk-busuk sejam. Busuk laaa busuk...

Receptionist (R):
Nak akak book a slot?

Shosh (S):
*Looking at Maylin for an answer, and Maylin who is an obvious ding-bat makes a blur face*
Sorang berapa lame kak?

Sorang dalam 2 jam...

2 jam kak? Lama nya...


2 jam??? 2 shitsfaksee hours?? Ape jaDDahnye 2 hours? Dia nak belek ape?? Mana ade celah-celah tersorok yang nak dikelebek!! Takpon chikubi aku punya diameter perlu dihitung.

That makes 22 hours of waiting!! Giler hhhhaappee...


Mmm... book je lah a slot for both of us kak... Kitorang balik dulu, then kitorang datang balik.

Eh... mane boleh balik. Kena tunggu. Nanti kitorang try selit-selitkan you in between patients.

OK. Mase nih, aku dah tak pay attention, coz nothing made sense to me, AT ALL.

We left. Sebab receptionist tu... ntah. Dia sebok ngelap hidup dia sepanjang-panjang explain tadi. It bugged me.

We ended up going to Ampang Puteri after hitting 3 other clinics which didn't have the ultrasound service.

Yup. The doctor was a MAN.

Shit. Exposing my oppai to a male stranger was - are you fuckin mad??

Then Shosh coaxed me into having the breast check jugak... "At least you'll know for sure."
Know what?? Whether he rubbed me the right way or not???? *snort*

Fine. Fingers crossed.


The doctor was a cutie. Small framed, but still a cutie.


Haha. Sick.

Anyhoo, my oppais are in good shape, I mean, healthy. Yeayy!! The results were immediate.

Then we headed for Derrick & Team. Got my boobies checked, got my hair done... Hahaha. A great way to start your first day in Ramadhan.

Btw, get your boobs checked dowh. You'll never know until it's too late.
(This is a community message)


Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Ice Box

Huh... Shit. Sakit. Kepundekan. *snort*

...Cause my heart is in the same ol' condition that baby left it...

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

.: Cik Melah Legam :.

I finally have my own ride! :)

Yup, I can't believe it either.

Alaa... it's just a black Savvy. Hhhhhonestly, I haven't been behind the wheels for ages! Serious shit, kuda, lammee... Ofith lammee. Haha. Bodo.

Anyhoo, tenchiyu to Shosh and Jojoi for being extremely patient with my rantings and screaming for the first 30 minutes of the drive. And oh, btw, Jojoi and Shosh named it 'Cik Melah', disebut sebagai 'Cik Millaa~' - kasik lenggok shkett.

Tadi dengan beraninya (ditemani Shosh) I drove to Taman Melati to makan sate with the rest of the toxic family. Just so you know, aku nih penakot bawak kete. Lintas jalan pon tak pass. OK, cakap pasal lintas jalan, hari tu I had lunch with Azah kat Maju Junction. Pastu ada adegan kena lintas jalan. I was hesitant. Azah being her, was a total freak. Dia lintas jek, and tinggal aku tergedek-gedek. And pemotor-pemotor came in droves. And me, being me, squealed and froze 3/4 of the road. Leeepas tuh aku terlanggar satu mamat motor nih yang terpaksa slow down sebab kebangangan aku. Harap maklum, aku yang langgar mamat tuh, bukan dia langgar aku. Lalu keluar lah sifat amarah mamat motor tu yang agak horror.

"Hoi! Bangang ke??!! Bangang woiii!!! BANGANG!"

Again I froze. Azah dragged me quickly into Maju Junction, kunun-kunun takde orang kenal aku laa. Malu dowh. Hah. Saiko.

Back to Sate Kajang - budak-budak nih (Lipaps, Chikubieyort, Yaya & Lennie) managed to buli me in sending them to their car yang mcm 2 kangkang biawak komodo jek. They all mashed into Cik Melah and created chaos - what they do best.

And the Sate Kajang wasn't as good as they war-warkan. Indah khabar dari rupe nye.

Shit. Macam ngantuk. Later-later lah.

Soww beautifoww - Out!!