Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Peek-A-Booh 2009...

Breathe in... breathe out...

Say it with me... "WooOoOooOooohsssssaaaaaaah...."

2 days to 2009!! And another 5 freakin' months to the BIG FAT TWENTYYYYY SEVVVEEENNNN... Sssummmbody shoot me!

What have I accomplished so far?
Think hard Tots... think hard...

1) I've put on weight. Kenaikannya sama berat dengan sekampit beras Jasmine dowh... How how brown cow? Oh... mungkin tidak begitu KETARA bagi sesetengah pihak. Hehe...

2) I've changed jobs THRICE! Oh, sorry. Just twice. Thee hee hee...

3) I made peace with my last Ex. Yeah, I'm talking about YOU - Azhar "Mork" Ramly.

4) I managed to work out my nearly-decaying finances.

5) I drove to Port Dickson ON MY OWN. *clap clap*
Despite the torrent of mockery by my dear friends, I made it. WITHOUT the help of a GPS, mind you! Hah! Take that! :p

6) I went on 13 dates within 10 weeks (June - Aug). *wink wink*
None of them made it to the finals, anyway. Boo-hoo. OK. I'm picky. *rolling eyes*

7) I think this is the big one - I have my bunch of friends who I love to bits and bits and bits :) Couldn't have done it all without you guys! *hugs*

2008 was a good year. Still is... :) Got another 2 days left. We'll see if a miracle happens.

*huge grin*


Uncle Sarifuddin: Girl... You've pun on some weight... How many pounds?

Maylin: Aaaa... Hehehe... yeah... about 5kg (Crap. Crap. Crap.)

U.S.: I don't remember you being this berisi...

M: Hehehe... (And you think I do? :( Crap.)

Sunday, 14 December 2008



Rasa macam palaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.




I'm bloody heavy.

I think the scale has a grudge against me.


Thursday, 11 December 2008

Papa and His New Sony E

Papa is THE expert for Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Flash and all those other multimedia software. His photography prowess leaves me in awe (extra marks if it was pORNography. Haha. Sick joke). Its amazing for a 53 year-old to create awesome designs with innumerous clicks and drags. Unfortunately, he's a huge slacker for handphones. I repeat; HUUUUUUUGE. For some reason, his synapses automatically malfunction at the touch of it.

On Raya Hajj, Mama gave him a new Sony Ericsson T-whatever, to replace his Nokia 1100.(Yepp, Papa uses a Nokia 1100. The basic of all basics.) He jumped for joy and celebrated the arrival of the new telecommunicator.
Cool. He loved it.

He spent the first 30 minutes 'unravelling' the mystery of the sim card slot.
In between, he accused my little sister Tasneem of causing the non-existant dent on the back of the handphone cover.
Inquiring a gazillion times about "How do I know if its still charging?"
After another 30 minutes... "Is it still charging??"
After 90 minutes... "Can I use it now??" He asked, like a kid who's dad just bought him a GI Joe figurine.

"Alamak... number semua orang hilang ke?" (Read: "Semua orang" refers to me, Mama, Tasneem, his boss and office ONLY).
"It's in the sim card laa Paa.."
"Hey, are you sure?"
"ENTAH laaa Paa... Tak sure laa... Why don't you go to the mobile store and ask..." I was more interested with my chipped toe nail.
"Huh? Alaaa... How now?"
"Papa! The numbers are saved IN YOUR SIM CARD."
"Ohh...!! Hahahahahaha! I knew that. Just testing you out..." He was still fumbling with the settings.
"Take my photo! Take my photo!" And he slumped beside Mama, and made his signature, distorted photo-face. I did as told.
"Then what...? Oh... Save it as wallpaper! Save, save, save." He laughed out loud, triumphantly.
"Isshh... Tasneem! Nak tekan which button nih?" he peered over his reading glasses.
Aaa... yup. The last time I checked - he's STILL my biological father.

"Eeeeh... Ya Allah... kampung nye laki aku nih..." Mama snorted.
"Sorry lah... tak kenal. Tak kenal!" Tasneem sprinkled on some more subtle cynicism.

No... You didn't really think that we would leave him in the dark, did you? We do love him to bits, despite the stone-age episodes he has with handphones.

* * * *

"Papa!!! Stop miss-calling me!!" I grunted.
"Hahahahahahahaaaa...!" he whistled gayly, and continued punching the buttons on his phone.

* * * *

"Azman! Awat laaa dengan hang nih?? Gatai sangat dah tangan tuh?? Dah takdak kerja kaa? Makin tua, makin tak betui..." Mama snapped, after rushing to her handphone, only to find out that her hubster was the imp behind the missed call.

Again, he successfully annoyed the crap out of my mum with the new gadget that she herself bought him.

Monday, 1 December 2008

Dear Santa... (2)

Dear Santa,

Righty-O! It's me again (the overgrown 26-year-old 'kid'). Some kid down the street told me that you don't read minds, so I need to be specific in my gift request. C'mon Saint Nick... Do I really have to be detailed about my Christmas gift? What if one of your elves reads this letter? (Yeah, YOU! The one with large ping-pong-ball eyes peering from behind Santa).

I know you know what I REALLY want for Christmas :)

I'll just give you some pointers, for you to remember...

1) It's funny... yup! It makes my sides burst. (u-huh.. 'It'.. hahaha!)
2) Its not all grown-up at times. Its dorky-ness is adorable. (I know... Can I be any more vague??)

Thanks a bunch Santa!!


p/s: A warm hug for Rudolph, and Mrs Clause for me :)

X = Big Kiss
x = Lil Kiss
O = Big Hug
o = Lil Hug

Sunday, 30 November 2008

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

I've been a VERY, VERY, VERY nice girl throughout the year.

All I want for Christmas is... Hehe...

I think you know :)



Friday, 24 October 2008

Butterflies... Go away...?

I'm 26++, and I still have those freakin' butterflies in my tummy. I'm a hopeless romantic, and I'll always be.

So, yep ladies and gents, here's another new episode of my kimputness. Hardyharharhar. You're gonna have to figure this one out yourself. Hah!

I hate it when some songs are just in sync with what you're going through. Oh, crap...

It's so cliche... But what the heck, huh? Embrace cliche! Embrace it!

He makes my heartbeat shoot to 400 per minute, hence the drenching armpits. Haha. Enough said. :P

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

My Shtooooopid Advice

A dear friend of mine is head-over-heels , butt-over-boobs in love with a guy she has known for 15 years. The lovey-doveyness just happened recently (I think). My friend - let's name her... mmm... Halimah. Haha! You hear that friend? I'm naming you Halimah! :P

Halimah has been complaining about how the guy, which I shall name him as... Tajuddin.
Yes, Halimah has been complaining about how Tajuddin always gives her unexciting, dry and lame SMS replies. I reckon that Tajud has a few template of SMSes ready to use. Sometimes my instincts tell me that Tajud is not that really into her, but is just trying to be a gentleman. *snort* Men!

Then Raya came. Bye-bye template, helloooooowhh flirtatious affair! Halimah was soooo thrilled, her bra hook snapped open by itself! Well done Tajuddin, well done! Halimah went over the moon, around Jupiter, made a detour to Uranus and finally rested on cloud number nine.

Tajuddin punched the right buttons alright! He punched and punched and punched until he indirectly said, "Aidilfitri Special ends on Sunday... back to Normal Package on Monday!".
So back to Normal Package on Monday indeed. Template after template. Halimah was devastated. Then came the ceaseless curses - Babi. Boddo. Bangang. Lancheaow... and the list goes on.

Halimah as usual, grievingly told me what happened. Me being the good friend, threw in a few points. A few shtoooopid points.

I told her that she could still get her Special Offer by signing up as a member! Yeah, a member of the Tajud Club. You know how Jusco Card / Bonus Link works right? Accumulate points, then you get some free gift or whatchamacallit vouchers. It might work the same with Tajuddin. Sign-up with him (I dont know - maybe the signing up process is by zipping down your pants) then instantly start collecting points! (Points are in the form of making out, breast kneading, endless canoodling etc.) When a certain amount of points has been collected, by default (according to Bonus Link and Jusco Card) you'll get the Special gift/offer.


Haha. I know. Kick me!

Naaah... Halimah is a cherubic lady, no? :)

Monday, 6 October 2008

Happy Eidul Fitri!

Silly me! How can I have forgotten...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

Maaf Zahir Batin!!


Saturday, 4 October 2008

I'm Malaysian

I might be occasionally ignorant, or just slightly oblivious of the current situation of the country that I live in - Malaysia. I used to hate politics, because of it's dirty and scummy schemes. I hated when people gather round to moot about it, and it pushes people to the brink of strangling each other to death, metaphorically. I would cringe and wince as people start to raise their voices, because as humans, we usually, always, want to be right.

I guess my view towards politics has changed slightly after being showered with questions by my Papa. He's an avid reader of Malaysian Today, and no doubt a HUUUUUUUGE fan of RPK. Heheh... I'm getting used to the abbreviation now. La la la~
Who else but our hero Raja Petra Kamarudin! So, yeah, I read the trails of No Holds Barred (and other stuff on MT), and pretty much got myself hooked to it.

It's funny how some of our leaders and Malays are downright selfish. Don't you ever wonder what goes on in their pea-size minds? "Hidup Melayu - pergi mampus lah yang lain?" Like, what the hell?? What is there in a race? Semua same je kan? OK. I'm a hippy. Make Love (literally?) and Not War. :)

There was once when I was in the elevator in Great Eastern mall, a Chinese lady looked at my name tag which has MAYLIN printed on it, smiled and asked, "Are you...? Chinese or Malay?" Puzzled with my so-called Chinese name and contradicting dark skin, but slanted eyes.

The elevator door opened. I gave her a wide grin, "I'm Malaysian", and walked out.

I know, so cheesy, but what the heck?


Tuesday, 23 September 2008

I'm Back!

Hmmm... Let's see... I can't remember the last time I wrote in my blog. But it sure has been ages. I've shifted jobs again. Yes, again!! There's nothing to be surprised about, anyway. I managed to stay glued to CIMB Aviva for 2.5 years. Bravo! *clap clap* After the complaints and the ranting about how I don't fit in with numbers yada~ yada~ yada~ (Please note: It's not the company, it's me).

I landed on another insurance job - this time it has less numbers and more research. *yawn* Harharhar. Same difference.

Anyhoo... I finished my LP journey with AsiaWorks - finally! Standing proud - LP117. Hehehe... Huga huga huga! Trying to be barbaric. Right.

Oh oh oh! And did I mention that I moved out of my Bukit Indah apartment? Yes-sir-ee!! I did! Now I'm having a blast at my new crib - Pesona Villa, Kemensah. Yup, right behind the Zoo Negara. Just thought that I should stay nearer to my relatives. (Read: Munkees :p ) I miss them so dearly. *scratch scratch*
I'm staying with Kerri (a.k.a. Nurr - LOL!) and Olen. I love them to bits. Olen is like the disciplinarian.
"Please take out the trash!"
"When are you guys gonna clean the house?"
"Hello??? The dishes??"

She used to scare the titties outta me, but then I thought that it's great to have a roomie who's always reminding you to get the house in tip top condition.

Kerri on the other hand is somewhat like me. We live in La La Land.
Garbage? What garbage?

I'm kinda lovin' my life now. Well, OK, yeah, I do still think I should be doing Arts, and not crunching meaningless numbers. I'm getting there. Just wait and see. :)

Gosh, my tummy's upset. Gotta go!

Tuesday, 29 April 2008


"Oit pompuan mereng"

Cik/Encik Anonet, ada aku kacau kau ke??

La La La ~

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

I've Been Tagged

Owh... Shitsfakskee... You dorky Saddiq...! :p


Nanti saya buat yaaa....

A Pocket full of Sunshine

I'm pretending to feel numb.
I'm pretending not to feel what I'm feeling right now.
Oho... I've got a PhD. in that sir!
I'm pretending that the euphoria tinkling inside me is non-existant.
I'm pretending nothing's wrong with my head and that little gremlin is not the cause of my messed up mind.
I say, "Nothing's up lah..." when they ask about the crooked, distorted smile smeared accross my face.
I put my goat grin on when nobody's looking.

I'm lovin' this.

I'm floating in mild delirium.

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Aim Goddammit! Aim!

There's one thing that I don't understand about most men is their inability to gracefully pee INTO the designated ceramic pit, you call the toilet bowl. And yes, the word 'flush' doesn't seem to exist in their vocabulary either.

For crying out loud! There is freakin' pee on the toilet seat! On MY toilet seat. What's so hard about wiping the seat clean after you wiggle and jiggle?

How many kilojoules would it possibly take to flush the fucking toilet??


Monday, 21 January 2008

Masih Tak Faham...

She always says: Later-later lah...

He always replies: Takpe lah. Nevermind. (Dot. Period. Noktah. Titik)

She always thinks; What EVER...

Tak Paham...! (Part 2)


He texts: Buatpe tonite?

She feels; Reply nanti lah, aku nak makan pizza dulu.

He calls.

He says: *noisy LRT background* Busy ke tonite? Buatpe?
She says: Mmm... am hanging out with my frens laa in a while. Nak lepak ke..?
Later bo.. (didn't manage to finish question).
He cuts in: K lah. Takpe lah. Bye. *hang up*

She gets into a fit. She is pissed off that He hangs up without properly saying good bye.

She texts: OK. That was rude. Thanks for hanging up. I didn't even finish my question.

He replies: Heheh.. Well, u know lar, "Rude" is my middle name some say...

She thinks; Cheh. Poyo kuase 44. After ten years, still no change.

He texts again: U g lepak ke u g dinner?

She thinks; What difference does it make??

She replies: Dinner + discussion with my frens. Later2 sikit laa lepak. Can?

He replies: Define ur later2...

She thinks; Ish... mengade tahap cipan berbapakkan tapir...

She replies: After 10.30. OK?

** no reply **


She texts: Bagaimana En. XXXXXXXX ?

** no reply **


She texts again: hey, nak lepak ke tak?

** no reply **

She thinks; Dia bongok.

Tak Paham...! (Part 1)

2.30 am

She just finished watching a movie with her girlfriends.

He calls.

He says: (euphoric + high pitched voice) Hoi... buatpe? Katne?
She says: Kat Pavillion, baru habes tgk movie...
He says: *gibberish* *gibberish* + bad connection
She says: Weyh, jap jap... sape nih...??
He says: Jack, Jack.
She says: Jaaaack...?
He says: Hahahahaaa... XXXXXX lah...
She says: Ooowwwhh... yeee keee?! Tipu lah! Apsal suare mcm pondan??
He says: *cackles* *hearty laugh*

She thinks; He's high. He's tipsy.

She says: Aaaa... R u drunk? Mabuk kepayang?? Apsal mcm high giler?
He says: Huh? *cackles* *hearty laugh*
He says: Nak pegi minum tak?
She says: Karang2 laa... I need to send my friend back. I'll message u later.
He says: OK-OK.
She says: Aight... Bye.


He texts: U larat x ? Katne?
She replies: OK jekk..Where u? Mu ado keto dok?
He replies: Takde kete...
She replies: I'm at home. Where u? Do u need a ride? God, do I have to spell everything out?
He replies: Kat umah..tapi mcm dah ngantuk plak...
She replies: ******. Whatever. Nite.

She thinks; Dia bongok.

Sunday, 13 January 2008


The Secret says (YES! The Secret says...) let go, and forgive, for you will be free of anger and resentment.

Aaaaaah. Screw that! (for now).

Some moron(s) broke into my house AND into MY room and stole my laptop, VCD and DVD player.
I am fuming with rage, I can even snap the neck of an iguana right now!
Red Alert: Animal violance. Steve Irwin will be twisting and turning in his grave right now and Bindi would label me a butcher.

Rephrase: I am fuming with rage, my nostrils are flaring. I can dispense tissues through my nose, mind you.

Screw you bad-ass-tiny weener / tits thief you !!

I hope you choke yourself to death with the wires.

I pray that a stray tarantula will sneak into your pants and feast on your crippled balls. Your balls will turn purplish blue for the rest of your fucking life, and it'll mutate into artichokes!! Hah! Purplish blue artichokes! Take that !

I wish hard that your boobs will distort and become all dark and wrinkly. And doctors would think that you insanely glued sun dried prunes on your chest!!

I'll make sure that the entire Universe will turn against you and your bulu bontot will ceaselessly grow. To the extent that you have to tie them in braids or a bun, coz snipping them off won't work, it'll just grow back - even more.

I curse you turn into a disgusting, abominable pig! Even the pigs won't admit you as their kind!



I hate you thief.

Just get yourself steamrolled.

Sunday, 6 January 2008

Happy Belated!

Hmmm... Oh heck;

H a p p y N e w Y e a r !!


Twenty fooking SIX years old.