Thursday, 26 July 2007


"When someone slaps you, slap them back twice."

- Courtesy of Shareena Shahir -

Cinta itu...

Thanks Gie - for the quotes... Really, thank you. :)

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will

My biggest OUCH:

"Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry."

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

Rambut-ku Part 2

Gavina (my ever-so-bubbly colleague) commented on my newly colored hair:

"Your hair tells men to 'Come to me, and let's do it!'"


But the comments came from Gavina. Horny is her middle name. What's there to be surprised about?


I've gone outta my mind, thinking about abandoning Actuarial for good. I've been feeling sucky for the past few months.

I'm plunging into depression - yes, again.

I'm disoriented - when am I not?

I forced myself to believe that I LOVE numbers and the complexity of it. I think I just came to realize that I actually don't adore numbers that much.

I've been living a lie (a lie to myself) for God knows how long.

I was born into an Arts family. But I thot "heck, I wanna be different."
I should've followed Papa's footsteps.
I should've given my passion and yet-to-be revealed talent a chance.

It's eating me alive now.

I'm trying to strip away the inhibitions and judgements I had, and still have about following my heart.

Is it ever too late to start off fresh?

Why should I bother asking what the world thinks.

Aiming for the pursuit of happiness - I am.

*patting myself on the back*

Don't Say It

It's me singin' again...

"...I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'Forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore..."

And I keep reminding myself that it's just a phase...


Monday, 16 July 2007


I bulldozed over my stand.

I colored my hair.

I even had it high-lighted.

I'm into 4-inch strappies now.

I'm even considering oversized shades.

Yeah, I know. Shut up.

Monday, 9 July 2007


Who wants to be under my umbrella..??


Sunday, 8 July 2007

Friday, 6 July 2007

Laughing Again

If it weren't for my bubbly buddies, I'd be dead by now. I'd die of dehydration. And I guess my eye balls would pop outta my sockets anytime by now.

And, as cliche as it is, laughter is the best medicine, only if you go to the right doctors...hehehe...

Dr.Shosh Kenchang (bkn nama sebenar)
Dr.Yaya - Banana therapy --> We're talking abt real bananas here.. don't get any funny ideas!!
Dr.Alep Bacchaa - Gantang therapy
Dr.Jojoi - Our specialist --> The sexologist.
...and Nurse Lennie... heeheeheee...

5 hours, for 4 days in a row at Suzi's. Orang giler jekk boleh buat camtuh.

Thanks guys. LOve you!!

"Alaaa ibong tosh tuu....Cenyum cikitt.." hahhahahaha...And it takes a crazy doctor to recite that. Yup - it's the chief surgeon; Dr.Shosh.

Monday, 2 July 2007

MooOOOoove Bitch!

Ok. Ok... I'm movin'!

I'm movin'!!

Baby steps laaa...


Club 21

I guess I've been feeding my head with too many self-help books. Some say they're crappy. Some say, they DO help. I'm going with the latter.

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. Some stuff from Anthony Robbins.

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

When you say, "I love you," mean it.

When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

Believe in love at first sight.

Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Don't judge people by their relatives.

Talk slowly but think quickly.

When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk..

Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

When you lose, don't lose the lesson

Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Spend some time alone.

Aaaa... I can't do #21 too often. Oh, No, No, No... Not this time around...


So I thot my little fairy tale would last a lifetime.

>>> BUZZZZZ !!! <<<<


Shit happens.

And I'm moving on.

I'm walking tall. With or without my heels. Heehee...